Anor Lisen

Apr. 24th, 2007 10:24 pm
still_golden: (Gold - making the hard choices)
[personal profile] still_golden
"Someone has come," Flidais says, sudden and grim in the stillness of the Anor, "and Galadan is on his way to this place even now."

Jennifer feels herself go pale. Galadan -- and someone else, whose arrival has Brendel and Flidais both tense, who can only be there because of her. And so she insists on coming down with them. If it's a friend, all to the good; if not, as she tells Brendel, then the Anor is no safer than the beach.

But the boy standing there as she leaves the tower cannot be called friend or enemy. And that, of course, was the idea.

Her Wild Hunt. Her random chance. Her son, standing pale and small and offering her a dagger.

"Will you . . . will you take a gift?"

She looks at him, and draws on her memories of Guinevere, proud and commanding and as hard as necessary, queen and abbess, over and over.

"Is it yours to give?" And, though he stumbles back from her tone, and sounds small and frail and young when he protests, she continues, "What are you doing here?"

"I -- she told me. The one with white hair." Kim, of course. "She said you were . . ."

And Guinevere pushes him away, as he calls her mother, as he throws his father's name at her, as he rails at her; because the choice must be his. It must be. For a moment, it seems that he will see that, accept that.

"Finn told me . . . before . . ." he says, "that my mother loved me and made me special."

And oh, it nearly all shatters and collapses then, and she can't stop her own whisper of "Acushla machree" -- my heart's dear one. But she controls it, fiercely. To falter now would destroy it all.

"He was wrong . . . about making you special," she says. "You know that now. Your power comes from Rakoth when your eyes go red. What you have of me is only freedom and the right to choose, to make your own choice between Light and Dark. Nothing more than that."

She hears Kim scream -- she hadn't known she was there -- but the wind is louder, and Darien's bitter cries are loudest of all in her ears.

Then he turns and runs, straight into Pendaran Wood, and the storm breaks over them.
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Jennifer Lowell

June 2007

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